30 years of Memories: Year 1 (1984)

Here is the first in a series of blogs that I am going to write to remember and record some of my memories of Mike and my life together. 

Major Life Events:  

1st "official" date (Feb 14th)

Breakup: 1 week of devastation...(sometime in May) 

Mike preached his first sermon @ FBC St. Bethlehem, Clarksville, TN (May,during the breakup)
Mike went to Air Assault School

Engagement:  June 16, 1984

Married:  December 13, 1984

Where we lived:  

Mike lived in the dorm (Miller Hall)  at APSU and then at Mrs Bradbury's 439 acre property before it became Bradbury Farms.   I lived at home with my parents until we married and then to Mrs Bradbury's.  We lived rent free but had to be there CONSTANTLY for her safety and to walk her poodle "Nappy."   Mike loved living out there and roaming the property...I had a hard time adjusting to being so far out in the country.   

Work/School

Mike was a Biology Major/Military Science minor on a ROTC scholarship at Austin Peay.

I worked full time as a legal secretary for Howell C. Smith, JR. and was an Elementary Education Major/English concentration at Austin Peay.

Cadet Mike Wood rappelling  as a student in Air Assault School at
Fort Campbell.  His brother SFC Chuck Wood was an Air
Assault Instructor at the time and got this great picture of them rappelling together.
 Chuck was on his honeymoon during Mike's first week
in the school, so no one knew the connection.  When
they found out the second week, Mike was in for some hazing. :).

Kids:  Not for several more years. 

Pets: My dog Princess who grew up with me died peacefully in her sleep at the age of 17 in this year I loved that dog!     

What we did for fun:  

We hung out at the Baptist Student Center for bible study and studying for class(well, I looked at my book and thought about how great it was to be with Mike while he studied) , playing ping pong, watching movies, football games, visits to the lake and to the Opryland Hotel (free) in Nashville,  soccer at Fort Campbell with the Navigator ministry every Saturday. We went on retreats with the BSU and Navigator Conferences. I still remember coming down from the Glenn Building  where I worked, to the BSU  and seeing Mike's Honda Civic in the parking lot with it's Texas license plate TRQ-925.  My heart would pitter patter with excitement!  He's here!  We spent a lot of time with Randy and Carol Beaudin, at the house they restored very close to Austin Peay.   We ate at Quincy's, Pic-A-Rib, Yancy's, Buffalo Brady's and Shoney's.  There was also a Mexican Restaurant on Fort Campbell Blvd that we loved, but I can't remember the name of it...and another Pizza place where a couple of our friends worked on Riverside...the name escapes me.  Sometimes we would just go and buy a pound of hamburger, noodles and macaroni and tomato sauce and make it in the kitchen at the BSU.   We ate it so much we started calling it "The Staple."  

Meet the Parents:  

Mike took me to El Paso, TX  to meet his parents that summer.   His Dad was a LTC and a Battalion Commander of an Air Defense Battalion at the time. He was a very handsome young looking man.  It hardly seemed possible that he could be Mike's dad let alone have three older boys.     His Mom was a Captain in the Army, very beautiful and fashionable.   When we got there after driving all day long (longest trip ever at 55 mph) they hugged us, and bid us goodnight.  What?   My family would have sat up talking all night long. :).  They were also very ummm "frank" in their language.  In my family, we weren't even allowed to say the word "pregnant" because Mama wanted us to "color it up a little." At that time they smoked and had an occasional drink...quite a difference for this little Southern Baptist girl.  They were less than thrilled that Mike was wanting to get married while still in college.  I'm sure they were fearful of him getting side-tracked, but in the end they were supportive. After several intimidating conversations "Mike and Kathy....I would like to see you in my office after dinner." (Of course my tasty steak and potato began to taste like sawdust), they decided to support our decision.   They did get us to put off our original date for the wedding from August until December when they could attend....I have never asked them, but that might have been a ploy to get us to wait so we could "come to our senses." Good parenting strategy...but  we didn't.    I don't think they mind now.  

Yeah...they were thrilled :)  

I told you about how Mike's family got to know me, so I just have to tell you about how my family got to know Mike.   I don't remember the exact date that they met, but I do remember that for the first little bit they didn't "get" each other at all.   My mother is full of questions and usually that makes people feel at ease because they like to talk about themselves.    When Mama asked Mike how he came to be in Clarksville and he told her that he had come to live with his brother at 16 years old...she asked "how does that work?"  because she wanted to know how it all came to be.   Mike thought she was ridiculing him somehow, and got defensive and belligerently said "I guess it works pretty good.  I'm a good student."   I looked at him like he had grown horns and was thinking "why are you using that tone with my mother?"   From that point on they kind of walked on egg shells around each other with me "translating" what each of them meant.

Mama's language is a mix of old timey sayings, army lingo, family things that no one else understands, and foreign phrases that she has picked up from some of her international friends.  She would say things like "That looks like life's other side." in her southern drawl (meaning that looks like death.)  Mike thought she was saying "that looks like Liza on her side" and he has a mental picture of a sleezy woman lying on her side.:)    Another time Mike had come in from soccer and had dirt all over his leg. Mama was trying to help him by getting him a wash cloth to wipe it off.   Mike decided to joke with her (she is not a joker) and to break the ice, threw the wash cloth back at her.   I still remember that blank look my mom gave me...like "what in the world?"   Good times!   

Another thing he had to overcome was the fact that he broke up with me for a week.  I am usually a pretty stoic person...but it devastated me and I cried...in front of my family.  Never ever happened before....It JUST. WASN'T. DONE!   Stockdale's don't cry, they get angry!   The whole family then unified in perfect hate of the one called Mike Wood who dared to make me cry.   One week later when we were back together....they had a hard time letting that hate go :).    

When Mike tried to ask my parent's permission to marry me, it was a comedy.  Mama prides herself in being the anti-June Cleaver and will not cooperate in anyone's sappiness.   After taking a turn at washing the dog (per Mama's request) and refusal to get in the same area as Daddy, Mike finally just asked her while she was washing dishes....to which she responded something to the effect of...."well I guess that is alright....just don't you dare back out and hurt her and leave us to pick up the pieces." Ahh....mother love :).   Daddy, up in the garage, when asked responded..."Well, I reckon she is old enough to do what she wants." Yep....all the makings of a Hallmark show.   

Vacations:  

While we were in Texas,We got to spend a lot of time with Chuck and Deb.   Deb was also meeting the parents for the first time.   They were so fun to hang out with.     Mike took me to Juarez across the border in Mexico.   At that point you didn't need a passport and could travel freely.  We went to White Sands, Hueco Tanks ,and Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico  where we climbed, and hiked.  At some point in our dating he also took me rappelling....training to be an Army Wife I guess.  

On other vacations that year we went to Lake Martin in Alabama to meet Mike's Great Uncle Ruel and Aunt Marie, and to Dothan AL to meet Mike's Uncle Roddy, Aunt Pat and cousins Stacy and Clay.   We went to Michigan for Mike's brother, Chuck and Deb's wedding.   

Ministry:  

We attended First Baptist Church, Clarksville, TN but our primary fellowship was at the Baptist Student Union.  I was on the board as Spiritual Life Chairperson at the time.   We both were on a team that would go to various churches in the community and share through music, message, testimony, and drama.   While on that team, Mike preached his very first sermon.  I usually was involved with the music either playing piano or singing...or doing something with kids.   We also spent some time sharing the gospel with kids in a poor community in Clarksville.  Mike was involved in STS (Search the Scripture) bible study with the Navigators and also led guys in Bible Study at Austin Peay.  

Now...

30 years later...I have a great relationship with Mike's parents.   They are even more smart and beautiful because the Lord has been at work. They are retired, non-smokers, less "frank" in their speech and have been instrumental in building several churches in their community...and using their gifts and resources to encourage several other ministries in their area be it a boys ranch, the Cerebral Palsy Center, Girl Scouts, Habitat for Humanity... not to mention the family members they have helped through many stages of life. They both fought the battle against cancer at the same time...taking togetherness to a whole new level :).  At this point they are both cancer free.   We have plans to spend Christmas with them in just a couple of weeks.  

Mike finally understands most of the Stockdale lingo and has even been known to quote a few of the good ones.   They love and appreciate each other...but aren't too mushy :). Since we have retired from the Army,  Daddy has been able to teach Mike a lot as we have been working on our house, and Mike has been great to help them as things are getting a little tougher for them as they get older.   They drink coffee together and "shoot the breeze."  Mama makes him pumpkin pies and brings him "snacks" every few minutes while he is working. Feeding people is her love language.     Mama is still not and will never be June Cleaver.